What Hurts the Most...

   I am probably one of your most reliable and loyal friends, but yet i am always the friend you have the least time for. i wonder why I still stick around. I guess that's my mistake for thinking our friendship would last. We had some good times and made a lot of great memories that I will never forget, but it's time to say goodbye.
   I was there for you when you needed a friend. I let you in when i wouldn't let anyone else in. You know all my secrets, all my flaws, all my insecurites, my life story, me. I tried everything in my power to make you happy, but for some reson it was never enough to keep our friendship going strong. I wish I knew what went wrong, but I don't. 
   I don't regret our friendship, I regret that it has gotten to the point where we don't even really talk anymore. I know I will miss you dearly, and there will always be a place for you in my heart. I just can't be your last choice anymore. 
   I know even as I say this now it will never last. Just like always you will hear what I said or read it on Facebook and will eventually confront me about it and make me feel like it was a huge mistake. I'll apologize and you will say something just like you always do pu;ling me back in. And I want so much to let you go, but i wont be able to. This is the part that kills me.
   I know how you are and how you have always treated me and yet I always come back for more. It doesn't matter what you do, say, or how you treat me, it never fails I always come back. That's my mistake, but it's one I will not learn from. 
   I don't know what it is about you and why I can't let you go, but I just can't. There is something about you that keeps me coming back for more no matter how many times I cry or my heartbreaks. You are in my life for a reason. I wish I knew why, but I don't. 
   I want to let you go, and maybe I will one day. For now I will just have to deal with the pain, and put on a smile to hide my true feelings whenever I see you. Until it isn't a lie anymore an I can truely smile because I am happy without you in my life.